So apparently April was 5 years since I started this blog…the one I am not good with keeping up with. And since few actually read this anyway (the faithful few!!!), I thought I would like to a couple of my favorite posts of the last 5 years:
A lot of the more personal posts are not listed – if you really want to read about failed relationships, you can explore the blog. But for now – these are my favorites.
So week 1 is coming to a close and I have to say – I love living alone (so far). Yes, it is odd to have no one to physically talk to most of the day. Yes, I am on the phone with work people WAY more than I used to be. Yes, some days I look at the space around me and think – I have to take care of all of this by myself? But overall, I love it.
So what happened this week? I unpacked some more stuff, made piles of stuff, threw out trash from unpacking, moved piles of stuff, cooked/baked for the week, took a drive around the big town of Orange (it took all of 10 minutes), went to a 1 stall farmers market and got my nails done at a small nail salon that I will most likely not go back to. All in all, not a bad week.
I think I will feel much better when I have my couch and I know how the bills are going to fall each month. I need some stability in my life right now. A lot has been up and down obviously. And there seems to be many more piles of stuff I need to deal with.
Today my mom is bringing more stuff down – OMG! – and James is coming for his first visit to Orange. Looking forward to week 2!
Last night I spent the first night at new place. It was weird.
It was too quiet. Too dark. Too unfamiliar.
And it was amazing. :)
No sounds of traffic out the window. No street light burning into my eyes when I tried to close them. A full nights sleep without waking once (partially due to the intense weariness after the move I am sure).
People have been so nice wishing me well. And there were so many great people who have helped me get here.
Today I go grocery shopping and set up my office so I can work on Tuesday. I really can’t wait to see how this all goes down.
I know, I know…most of you gave up on me long ago and figure that you will read this when you stumble upon it…whenever that may actually happen. So you want the update? There is a lot!
- The big news is that I am finally, finally, finally MOVING! I signed a lease on a place in Orange VA and I move next month. It is brand new and it is beautiful and while I don’t expect it to be perfect per se – I am super excited about this step. It will be scary. It will be liberating. It will be exciting and boring and fun and hard and easy and all of that wrapped into one big experiment/experience.
- I just had my 1 year anniversary at my job. If you had asked them my first week if I would be here 1 year later, I am sure nobody would have said yes. It was a rough start as I was pretty sure I had made a colossal mistake. And if you had asked me 2 months ago, I might have said the same thing. I hit a rough patch and while I was assured that it would not affect my future here, it was a tough time and I had to get over more than a few hurt feelings. But things are looking good as I get ready to start working from home. And they are all behind me (even while giving me a hard time)
- I met someone. I am trying – actively – to not talk much about it, but he is great. And the move doesn’t scare him. And I am enjoying getting to know someone new. Nuff said.
- This weekend I say goodbye – or see you later J – to one of the best little families I know and a small wunderkid that makes me smile. I will be weepy and stupid I am sure. I should be used to goodbyes but they never seem to get any easier.
I am currently packing – and BTW if you have boxes…I need some – and organizing, and clearing out. I have about 6000 piles of random things that need a home or a trashcan. Each day, I make a small dent in the piles. It seems to be never ending. On the plus side, I have been offered a few of the furniture pieces I needed by some very generous friends and so the place will come together better than I had thought it would in the beginning. I still have a lot to do and the time is running short.
There is much I leave behind me however – that I will miss:
- The girls in the office who make me laugh at least a couple times a day
- The safety of the familiar
- Celebration Singers
- My mom (who is of course not going away but will not be as accessible – check your answering machine mom!)
- Ikea moments from my house
Saying all of that, I am mostly going to miss living in a place where everything is at my fingertips.
And you know what – there are a lot of things I will NOT miss:
- No view
- No stars that I can see at night thanks to the lights
- Having things at my fingertips…sometimes it is just too easy to overindulge
I feel like I have been hanging on this cliff for a year waiting to jump and it is finally happening. I am preparing to fly. Wish me luck on the journey!
In the next couple of months I will need to make a big decision about the next part of my life and I am waffling on what to do next. I know what my mom wants, I know what the choir wants, I know what work wants (even if it is just for me to make a decision). I just don’t know what I want.
Last year, I was ready to make a big, big move. Away from what I knew to a small town where I knew no one and I was going to have to really work to meet people. I was ready for that move. I had every intention of starting over new somewhere where nobody knew me and I would be forced to seek out a new life. I knew the cons of the move – small towns can be hard to get a foothold in – especially when you work alone at home all day. There was also the lack of “stuff to do” and the very real possibility that I would not like it there. I knew all of it and I accepted it. In fact, I was kind of looking forward to it.
Then I lost the job that was going to allow the move (we closed, a fact I still mourn) and the new job required me to wait a year before I could move. This time I decided not to think about it until the year was up – no point in getting worked up over something that may not happen. Right? Well, here we are at the end of March, and I am thinking about it. I didn’t quite last a year – but almost 10 months is close.
Financially, I am in a better place than I was last year and that has put some added weight to the decision and the timing of the decision. I now have 3 options:
- Option 1 – move as planned to Tappahannock. I can not only afford to live there, but the cost is so much lower, that I would have plenty of disposable income to continue to save and pay off my student loans. Maybe after a year or so I would be ready to move back to NOVA – maybe not.
- Option 2 – move to a place in Woodbridge. I can just barely afford it. But it is doable. There will be less disposable income and there will be less money to save and pay off the student loans. But it will allow me to move and stay where I know.
- Option 3 – which is my last resort I think – is to stay where I am and wait another year to move out. I don’t honestly know if I can handle this option. I will if it becomes necessary – but I am not happy about it and I honestly I don’t want this.
I realize that many people think there is an option 4 – a roommate. I have thought long and hard about it and no. At this point in my life, I don’t want a roommate. I want something of my own. However small. However humble. Mine. Selfish – maybe – but it is time.
So, lots of decisions to make this summer. Pray for me if you think about it. And if God opens up a new option 5, that might work as well.