Hello all. I decided to start writing like someone is actually reading this.
Yesterday I went to see Scott. And I am really glad I did. I considered canceling and just mailing him back his stuff but I felt guilty for even thinking that. So I went and you know what? It was really a bit of closure for me. We talked a little, laughed like it was old times, and then completely unprovoked, he said he really had missed me and he hugged me. And in that moment, I knew it was going to be ok. Part of my struggle has been that none of this seemed to have any impact on him and since I had not seen him and he is not the type to post it on Facebook or anything, I had no indication that any of this affected him at all. And it has been hard believing that he just moved on once it was over…poof…one day together, next day forgotten. But there it was. His simple declaration and the clinging hug in the parking lot of his apartments and all of it made sense again. And I felt like I could move on because I had confirmation that it was real…it meant something to both of us…and that even though it was over – well we were going to be ok. We may never be friends the same way – I still wonder if we will ever be able to just hang out – but I know that if I ran into him, we could laugh and talk and be ok. And that is such a good start.