Ask or Guess

I have been searching for something worthwhile to write about.  Floods, oil spills, work…nothing caught my interest.  But then I saw this and everything changed.

Ask Culture vs. Guess Culture.

The headline on MSN said “Are you an Asker or a Guesser.”  Prior to reading the article, I assumed I was an asker.  I ask lots of Questions at work.  I would rather ask than be wrong.  However, once I read the article, I realized that is not what they were asking.  This question is more about whether or not you:

1.  Ask for anything – knowing you could get a “no” response.
2.  Guess  – put out feelers and only ask if you are fairly certain you will get a “yes” response.

I am sooo a Guesser.

The original post (at least the references all took me back to this) was from an advice column where someone detailed an email they received from a childhood acquaintance asking to stay with him and his wife while in NYC on business.  The childhood “friend” had not been in contact for many years, was not asking for a tour guide or a ride…just a bed to sleep in, and pretty much said that she was not going to really be around except to sleep.  The wife was having trouble saying no.  The husband thought it was rude this person asked in the first place.

One poster wrote that this was classic Ask Cutlure v. Guess Culture.  The visitor asked…knowing it might be no.  The would-be hosts felt violated…they are Guessers.

I have friends who always say, “It wouldn’t hurt to ask.”  Could be anything.  At a restaurant, retail store, church, library, or with friends and family.  Anything they want, they ask.  And if it is no, so what.  Move on.  And I have never understood these people at all.  I don’t ask.  I look for signs to see if something is possible.  I beat around the bush a little if I need to.  But I don’t ask unless I HAVE to.

My best friend Matthew says I have a standing invitation to visit.  But really, and please Matthew take no offense here cause I know you mean it, that is hard for me.  To invite myself to stay with someone seems so presumptuous.

I am a guesser.


To see the original string this came from, click here.


1 thought on “Ask or Guess”

  1. Oh yeah. I’m a guesser striving, no wishing to be an asker. I’ll probably always lack the nerve it takes. Sigh. I guess. What do you think?

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