I wear tennis shoes almost everyday. It is a rare occasion that you will see me in something other than my tennis shoes. Mostly it has to do with my weight, my joints and what feels good. Comfort is key at this point in my life. I realize how that sounds…like I am one step away from orthopedics (and if things keep going the way they are…I might be), but the truth is that I wear tennis shoes every single day because they don’t hurt my feet.
So while on vacation this past weekend, I took advantage of the plethora of outlets and got a new pair of tennis shoes (under $50 bucks for Adidas…not bad). And let me tell you, I still hobble a little, and I need to break them in, but what a world of difference it has made to me to have new shoes. I walk different, I walk longer and farther and I don’t have to rest as often.
I figured there had to be a lesson in this somewhere…maybe it was about how you need to change things up sometimes in order to make things better (certainly true)…or maybe it was that splurging (even a little) is good for the soul…or maybe it was that you have to take care of your NEEDSs even though it can be easy to put them off in deference to something that seems more important that you WANT. But as I was thinking it over on my 8 hour drive home, I thought the real lesson was this:
I need to invest in me more often.
You see, since I am single, all of my money is usually spent on me. I don’t have kids or a husband that I am helping to support. I have my bills, my car, my things, my entertainment. I always spend money on me. But I tend to spend money on things that are either basic necessities (bills) or are on things I will use in my life. But I rarely spend money on me. I get haircuts at Hair Cuttery and never pay more than $25. I don’t get my nails done. I do have to spend money on clothes…but it comes in waves and to spend $50 on a pair of pants just kills me. I do typically spend about $100 on tennis shoes…but I only buy them once every 18 months or so…or until they are falling apart at the seams. Long after they should have been tossed and I never have more than one pair at a time.
I don’t spend money on me….the physical me.
I used to say it was because I didn’t care how I looked. And to a point that is true. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about how I look. But, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t always there in the back of my head. I would love to be one of those people who took great strides to look a certain way, but I never have been. I am a wet hair, no makeup, no-maintenance kind of girl.
But I have these moments. I was in California in March seeing my friend Matthew. And we were having this conversation and I was saying how unhappy I was with my life. And he pointed out how in a particular picture of me (taken 10 years ago) how much younger I looked then. And I cried. I cried because I was happier then. I was younger (10 years younger) but the circles under my eyes and the sadness that is usually there, have nothing to do with years and everything to do with quality of life.
We went shopping that day and I went into the MAC store and bought an $18 tube of concealer and had them cover up the dark circles under my eyes. Matthew thought it was ridiculous and said I didn’t need it. And I told him that if an $18 tube of concealer made me feel better that day, it was worth it.
I have not touched it since I came home. It sits on my dresser and mocks me. I don’t have the need to put it on again. And trust me the dark circles have not vanished. But it is there for the day when I need it again. And for now, new tennis shoes are on my feet. And the world is right again.