I am not good at goodbyes. Anyone who has had to say goodbye as often as I have either suffers with it each time or they make peace with the natural movements of goodbyes. Accepting that goodbye happens is not the issue – it is the knowledge that the future will be different because that person is not there in the same capacity anymore.
And this summer I say goodbye again.
First I will say goodbye this weekend to my friends T & J. T was my boss at a job that I was so excited about 4 years ago and was ultimately fired from 3 years ago. That experience, difficult as it was, led to my current job that I love. Saying goodbye has made me look back on what I learned from the experience and makes me appreciate where that knowledge has led me. So much of our lives are made up of the experiences we have had and the lessons we learned. I would not be me without that time in my life. And I learned a very important lesson – you have to believe in your own strengths…even when you are in a situation where they may not be fully realized or utilized.
I am also saying goodbye again to my sister and the kids. They moved to Texas last year and decided to come here for most of the summer this year. A move that I am thinking they regret, actually. As hard as it was to imagine a year ago, Texas is home to them now. And this is not. This is visiting…and sometimes visiting needs to be short. I say goodbye this time knowing that this is probably the last time that I will spend this much time with them all at once…2 months of being able to call up and make plans. This goodbye is hard…as hard as it was last year actually…because I know it is a change that is for good. Heather has learned to make peace with Texas and I am learning to do the same.
I know there will be additional goodbyes next year. There is the very real possibility that my mom will leave for Texas as well – leaving me alone in Woodbridge for the first time in my life. And I think these goodbyes this year are preparing me for that one.