I tend to be someone who puts myself last….at least until I get so fed up that I take back control of me. It takes a while. And more often than not, by the time I get there I have depleted my resources to the point that I can’t fight much for what I need…I just retreat and hope for my strength to come back.
Part of my putting myself last is that I try to help if it is at all possible. If there is anything, within my power, that I can do, I try to do that. I am not perfect. I don’t claim to be. But I try to do all that I can.
Sometimes however, God puts me in a position where I am unable to help. A place where the situation is so far out of my control that I can’t help but be rendered helpless. Where the problem is so far out of my scope of ability, that the only feeling I can be left with is to feel helpless.
My saving grace – quite literally – is that even when helpless…I am never hopeless. Hope is a funny thing. Even when all seems impossible, it is still there. Hope sits in the background at all times thanks to my belief in a God that has not let me down.
It is where I find myself today. Helpless. But not hopeless.