Changing course

Yesterday my mom and I drove out to Culpeper so that I could see the area.  I have been investigating where I will be moving.  There are a couple more places I want to look…but Culpeper has been moving up the list fast.  It is small, quaint, and just what I was looking for.

As we were driving around, I got a little sad.  This is not the move I was expecting to make  next year.  I spent a few minutes thinking about the life I imagined for next year.  He kept asking me when I was going to move.  I was being cautious…knowing it would mean leaving my whole life behind…but I was excited to see where the relationship would lead.

The move, the intention of the move, was never really about him…he was a catalyst and he was the reason for the move location.  However, the move itself, was more about me and moving forward and starting something new.  And that has not changed.

I said something to my mom about it not being the move I expected and she said she had been there….she never expected to be 60 and a widow for 14 years.  She never expected to be retiring without my dad.  She never expected to be living this life.

And that conversation – though short – brought up a list of things I never expected to be doing that have all turned out in exactly the right way. A mental list that I won’t bother to put down here, but it was helpful to put things in perspective.  A little reminder that God, no matter how little sense it makes, has it all under control.

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