Failures

They say when it rains, it pours.    It’s falling in buckets right now.

I recently celebrated my 4 year anniversary at my company.  This job has been the best experience I have ever had at a company.  I have learned, and loved learning, about the industry, worked with great people, and been a total workaholic since I have been here.  Simply put, I love my job.

Now that I have said that, I will tell you that we have been very very busy – more than normal – and when you have a small company that means that the workload can be overwhelming.    And brutal.  And that is where I am right now.  There have been some small and some not so small mistakes.  Nothing fatal, just a product of not enough hours in the day.

These failures (small and not so small) are piling on top of the thing with T.  And everything is being taken to heart right now.   I never saw the breakup as my fault.  I have never seen it as my failure.  But as the other job related failures have been piling up, I see the failures I had in that relationship.  Not letting go sooner.  Not following my gut.  Not seeing him for who he was.  It all feels like a failure right now.  My failure.

I know this is a season.  I know that I will eventually see the sunlight again.  But right now, it is a little dark.

I have this sentence taped to my monitor – Let go of the BAD so the GOOD can come in.

I think I need a vacation.

 

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