Ambitious much????

In June, I started a new job that I was very nervous about.  I worried it was not the right move career-wise.  I worried that I would not be good enough to do the job.  I worried that I would never make friends there.  I worried that at the end of the day, my success at my last job was nothing but an aberration.

Can you tell I have a worry issue?  Or maybe I have a confidence issue…oh never mind – I have both.

So here we are 5 months later (5 months on Sunday the 10th to be exact) and I love my job.  I love the people there.  I like the work (ask me another week and I may say I love it – it has been a rough couple of work weeks).  I love the support I have there.  All in all, it was the right place for me to end up right now.  And I hit the supervisor jackpot for a second time.  He believes in me (his words) and that is pretty awesome.

But I had this issue this week.  And the more I look at it, the more I can see why I reacted the way I did – although I stand by my opinion in the matter.  And all of this self-reflection has brought me back to this blog.

My last post was concerning the “40 before I am 40” list.  It was ambitious to say the least.  And I knew it.  I was expecting 39 to be a year of big changes.  My list reflected the things that I thought made a good life.  They are good things, but it was a bit much for 1 year to expect all of that to happen.  And writing the list, really forced me see that I need to take some time to make changes and I need to make a list of things that are more realistic.   And the list was not a total complete failure – I did accomplish some of those things.

And truthfully, this year has been a year of changes – just not the ones I wanted them to be.  And that is ok.

So now I am looking ahead to my 40th year.  And I am not going to be quite as ambitious as I was last year.  1-10 are life lessons, 11-20 are fun things, 21-30 are goal oriented and the last 10 are hopes and dreams.

40 for my 40th year

  1. Count my blessings everyday
  2. Be thankful for the blessings I have
  3. Remember that every closed door is not a lost opportunity – but a sign from God to move in another direction or to just wait until the door opens
  4. Make sure that the people I love know how much they mean to me
  5. Look for opportunities to be a blessing to someone else
  6. Devote some time (even a moment) to prayer before I act in anger or frustration
  7. Be present for the moments that I am instead of looking forward or back
  8. Listen instead of just waiting to respond
  9. Make relationships a priority
  10. Take the time to notice the little things around me
  11. Karaoke with friends
  12. At least one night out each month with friends
  13. Photograph DC
  14. Go see an exhibit at VMFA (Hollywood Costume exhibit)
  15. Tour the Museum of American History in DC (my favorite)
  16. Rent or see a new movie each month
  17. Go on a date or two
  18. See a live play
  19. Take a road trip
  20. Scrapbook each month — no excuses
  21. Create a scrapbook to commemorate my 40th year
  22. Work at home at least a couple of days a week to avoid the traffic
  23. New car
  24. Replace my iPhone
  25. Move more
  26. Quit FAST FOOD
  27. Replace old wardrobe items
  28. Use up current scrapbook supplies before buying if at all possible
  29. Find a church
  30. Pay off debts
  31. Move to my own place
  32. Take on a bigger work challenge
  33. Come to terms with my current relationship status – find peace in it for now
  34. Be looking for what God has planned for me
  35. Experience new people instead of hiding from them
  36. Find a therapist
  37. Do a mission project
  38. Spend more time out and less time online (ironic right???)
  39. Reduce my TV time each week (I am well on my way to this)
  40. Acceptance of my own limitations

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