In June, I started a new job that I was very nervous about. I worried it was not the right move career-wise. I worried that I would not be good enough to do the job. I worried that I would never make friends there. I worried that at the end of the day, my success at my last job was nothing but an aberration.
Can you tell I have a worry issue? Or maybe I have a confidence issue…oh never mind – I have both.
So here we are 5 months later (5 months on Sunday the 10th to be exact) and I love my job. I love the people there. I like the work (ask me another week and I may say I love it – it has been a rough couple of work weeks). I love the support I have there. All in all, it was the right place for me to end up right now. And I hit the supervisor jackpot for a second time. He believes in me (his words) and that is pretty awesome.
But I had this issue this week. And the more I look at it, the more I can see why I reacted the way I did – although I stand by my opinion in the matter. And all of this self-reflection has brought me back to this blog.
My last post was concerning the “40 before I am 40” list. It was ambitious to say the least. And I knew it. I was expecting 39 to be a year of big changes. My list reflected the things that I thought made a good life. They are good things, but it was a bit much for 1 year to expect all of that to happen. And writing the list, really forced me see that I need to take some time to make changes and I need to make a list of things that are more realistic. And the list was not a total complete failure – I did accomplish some of those things.
And truthfully, this year has been a year of changes – just not the ones I wanted them to be. And that is ok.
So now I am looking ahead to my 40th year. And I am not going to be quite as ambitious as I was last year. 1-10 are life lessons, 11-20 are fun things, 21-30 are goal oriented and the last 10 are hopes and dreams.
40 for my 40th year
- Count my blessings everyday
- Be thankful for the blessings I have
- Remember that every closed door is not a lost opportunity – but a sign from God to move in another direction or to just wait until the door opens
- Make sure that the people I love know how much they mean to me
- Look for opportunities to be a blessing to someone else
- Devote some time (even a moment) to prayer before I act in anger or frustration
- Be present for the moments that I am instead of looking forward or back
- Listen instead of just waiting to respond
- Make relationships a priority
- Take the time to notice the little things around me
- Karaoke with friends
- At least one night out each month with friends
- Photograph DC
- Go see an exhibit at VMFA (Hollywood Costume exhibit)
- Tour the Museum of American History in DC (my favorite)
- Rent or see a new movie each month
- Go on a date or two
- See a live play
- Take a road trip
- Scrapbook each month — no excuses
- Create a scrapbook to commemorate my 40th year
- Work at home at least a couple of days a week to avoid the traffic
- New car
- Replace my iPhone
- Move more
- Quit FAST FOOD
- Replace old wardrobe items
- Use up current scrapbook supplies before buying if at all possible
- Find a church
- Pay off debts
- Move to my own place
- Take on a bigger work challenge
- Come to terms with my current relationship status – find peace in it for now
- Be looking for what God has planned for me
- Experience new people instead of hiding from them
- Find a therapist
- Do a mission project
- Spend more time out and less time online (ironic right???)
- Reduce my TV time each week (I am well on my way to this)
- Acceptance of my own limitations