In the next couple of months I will need to make a big decision about the next part of my life and I am waffling on what to do next. I know what my mom wants, I know what the choir wants, I know what work wants (even if it is just for me to make a decision). I just don’t know what I want.
Last year, I was ready to make a big, big move. Away from what I knew to a small town where I knew no one and I was going to have to really work to meet people. I was ready for that move. I had every intention of starting over new somewhere where nobody knew me and I would be forced to seek out a new life. I knew the cons of the move – small towns can be hard to get a foothold in – especially when you work alone at home all day. There was also the lack of “stuff to do” and the very real possibility that I would not like it there. I knew all of it and I accepted it. In fact, I was kind of looking forward to it.
Then I lost the job that was going to allow the move (we closed, a fact I still mourn) and the new job required me to wait a year before I could move. This time I decided not to think about it until the year was up – no point in getting worked up over something that may not happen. Right? Well, here we are at the end of March, and I am thinking about it. I didn’t quite last a year – but almost 10 months is close.
Financially, I am in a better place than I was last year and that has put some added weight to the decision and the timing of the decision. I now have 3 options:
- Option 1 – move as planned to Tappahannock. I can not only afford to live there, but the cost is so much lower, that I would have plenty of disposable income to continue to save and pay off my student loans. Maybe after a year or so I would be ready to move back to NOVA – maybe not.
- Option 2 – move to a place in Woodbridge. I can just barely afford it. But it is doable. There will be less disposable income and there will be less money to save and pay off the student loans. But it will allow me to move and stay where I know.
- Option 3 – which is my last resort I think – is to stay where I am and wait another year to move out. I don’t honestly know if I can handle this option. I will if it becomes necessary – but I am not happy about it and I honestly I don’t want this.
I realize that many people think there is an option 4 – a roommate. I have thought long and hard about it and no. At this point in my life, I don’t want a roommate. I want something of my own. However small. However humble. Mine. Selfish – maybe – but it is time.
So, lots of decisions to make this summer. Pray for me if you think about it. And if God opens up a new option 5, that might work as well.