Fairytales and being 40

I have been thinking about this post for a while and trying to decide how I wanted to tackle it.    Mostly the decisions have been how to make this a celebration of something and not a defeatist kind of post where people start to feel sorry for me or offer up words of encouragement.

At 40, I had just about given up on the idea of getting married.  The young impulsive carefree ideal of getting married at least.  I realized I will never been that 20 year old who feels like life is not worth living without that certain someone.  I will never be the 25 year old woman who meets a guy in a bar or is introduced by friends in what is called a “meet cute” in the movies.

I don’t need someone to rescue me from my life…while it is not perfect, it is the life that I built.  I don’t need someone to be my everything…it is not possible.   I don’t need someone to sweep me off my feet and treat me like a princess…at this age it is easier to see reality in yourself and in others and not expect more.  I don’t need the kind of fairytale that is taught to us when we are young…I don’t need to believe in perfection anymore.  I don’t need someone to complete me.

What I do want and need is someone I can talk to.  Someone who makes me laugh.  Someone who accepts my flaws as I accept his.  Someone who has the same values as I do.   Someone who pushes me out of my comfort zone and who challenges my preconceptions – about myself and the world.  Someone who shows me in small ways and big ways that I am important to them and who can accept the same from me.  Someone who makes the choice during the hard times to stay…cause in the end…that is the only thing that lasts.

 

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