A different kind of holiday season

Due to all of the things that have been going on this fall, I have not really thought about the holidays very much.  In fact, for maybe the very first time, I am not just unprepared, I am not really excited about it.  At all.  My mind is just not there.

Several times already this month, I wished that we could put the holidays on hold and celebrate some other time.  Some time when I am not so overwhelmed with other things.  I know how selfish that sounds…like the holidays are all about me and my issues.  But, all the same, I would love to have about 3 more months before I had to face the holidays.

I doubt I am alone in this and I am pretty sure there are people who feel this way every year.  Christmas is not overwhelming in and of itself – we make it that way.  We push ourselves to find the perfect gift, make the perfect dish, host the perfect get-together, be the perfect guest and be perfectly thankful and gracious during all of it.  I also find the need to sing the perfect song and go to all of the perfect events and make time for all of the perfect activities (favorite movies, Christmas TV episodes, concerts, traditions).  Oh and in my case, celebrate my December birthday that I normally have to squeeze in between other things. It is overwhelming in a normal year.  This year, it is impossible.

I have heard that there are people who attempt and in some cases pull off a stress-free holiday.  I used to laugh at that idea.  This year I am trying to embrace it.  No pressure.  No pushing.  And the fact that i may have to slow down due to my health makes it even more imminent.

Assuming I will have surgery at the end of this month, and there is a 3 week recovery period before I am fully up and running, and my voice may need additional recovery time after being intubated during surgery – I am/will be paring down this year.   And if i call you to celebrate my birthday in March – don’t be surprised.  🙂

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