Every so often I feel like things are spiraling out of control.  I don’t mean in the kind of way that will result in a car crash, but I mean times when you know you need to get a handle on something and you can’t quite grasp it fully.  When despite your efforts, the goal gets further and further away from you.

The most frustrating part is when you can see the mistakes you are making but have been able to predict them before you make them.

I have pulled back as many of the behaviors that led me here.  I am almost out of things to “stop”.  But the issue persists.

The only thing left is, and by the way it should have been the first thing, is to pray.  That is the thing about troubles like this – it is so much easier to pray for the big things.  The little things…the not life changing things…the ones that you know you should be able to change without divine intervention…those things are much harder to pray for.  At least for me.

I find myself fighting with my own instincts when this happens.  So here I sit, taking the time to do what I should have done all along.  Praying.


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