Since I am apparently laying it all out there about my YouTube addiction, I decided at least 1 more post about what I am watching currently is in order. And just so you don’t think that I am watching ONLY Gastric Bypass related videos, at the bottom of this post is a quick list of other things that have caught my eye lately. Trust me – it has been like falling down the rabbit hole lately on YT.
Once I got past the “what do I eat now” videos and the “what I wish I had known” videos about weight loss surgery, I have been bombarded with the “Don’t Do It” and “It will ruin your life” type videos. The same vloggers who posted the others after some time seem to regret their decision to do this.
To be honest, I think about it often. Was this the right thing? Will I be able to maintain this? What if I gain back? Will it all have been for nothing? At this early stage in the game, it is impossible for me to know if this was truly a mistake. I am still in the slight euphoric stage of “look how much I am losing” so I don’t have any serious perspective yet.
Saying that, when I watch the “it ruined my life” videos I am struck by a couple of things:
- How many people seem to do this without “knowing” the implications. Are there doctors out there not telling patients about the reality or did you not listen when you were warned? I was told. My doctor made sure I understood the risks and the possible long term implications of my decision to do this.
- How many people will not take responsibility for some of the choices they made. From moving back to old habits to the decision to even have surgery, it is never their fault. They were not told, nobody was willing to help them, they had other circumstances. It sounds harsh to say it – talk to me in a year and my tune may have changed – but this just seems like a lack of taking responsibility.
- Finally, how many people admit to not following the rules but try to justify the bad choices. It happens in these videos and it happens in person. A few times I have been in the doctors office talking to other patients and have heard them admit to breaking the rules. “I know we can’t have XXX, but I do anyway” or “I know I need to take YYY, but I really hate it so I don’t.” You did all of this, paid for all of this, and now you are going to risk it?
Here’s the thing: I don’t know what is going to happen for me moving forward. I can’t guarantee I won’t fall off the wagon. In fact, I am guilty of some of this already. But I keep coming back to the “I need to feel better and in order to do that, I have to…”. It is keeping me sane for now.
I don’t pity these vloggers nor do I condemn them. I am them. In a year or two, that could be me. I feel compassion for them. I wish they had a great experience with this – mostly to give me hope that this was not a big mistake for ME. That I will not end up writing a blog post that details how I gained it all back and how it was such a mistake for me to embark on this. I don’t want to be that person. Right now, I see them as a cautionary tale. And that is why I keep watching and fighting to get my life back. I am not there yet…but I will be.
As for what else has me fascinated on YouTube right now:
- Large family grocery shopping (Jamerrill’s Large Family Table – and they are in Harrisonburg VA)
- Freezer cooking (Happily a Housewife is one I love right now – and she is in Gainesville VA)
- Dave Ramsey style Debt free living (currently loving Our Life…On a Budget)
- Australian family vloggers (Mr. & Mrs. Rad – cutest baby on YouTube)
- Card making (Jennifer McGuire and Kristina Werner mostly)
- Some scrapbooking/art journaling (Mrs. Rad above is one – Inkie Quill and Let’s Get Inkie are her channels)
- Kevin Hart videos (currently loving Kevin Hart What the Fit – with Leslie Jones – the language is not great, but you have to see them working on a horse ranch…too funny)
- Tonight Show and Ellen (since I don’t have regular broadcast TV or cable)
- And Meal Prep videos showing people prepping for the week of eating